13 Things I Absolutely Love About Aging

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I’m 71 now and just can’t ignore the fact I’m getting older. Like most folks, I dreaded Aging and thought growing older meant the end of the line—game over, pack it up, go home and wait it out. Grim at best.

But now that I’m here, I’m having a very different experience. I’m fascinated and excited by Aging; it’s like looking into the eyes of a cobra.

I never imagined old age would be when I realized my most cherished dreams. And I certainly never thought it would be so much fun! Instead of being less than my younger self, I am stronger and more grounded. With the added value of great sex and philanthropic projects, my life is full and rich. This is one of the best times of my life. Here is why:

1. I am a kinder person.
I am less critical of myself and others, which extends to my friends and family who very much appreciate the mellower me. Being compassionate is more important than having things. Flow, harmony, and loving kindness get me through the world now, and I am so much happier.

2. The freedom of it.
For the first time in my life, I am free to be the person I always wanted to be. Joan Erikson, wife of noted psychologist Erik Erikson, wrote that, “Aging is the process of becoming freer.” I would add that old age is the time we come home to ourselves.

3. Saving the world is not my responsibility anymore.
It’s not that I’ve given up trying, but the suffering of the unfortunate weighs less heavily on me. I understand now that to do my best is enough. What’s ironic is I accomplish more now with ease than I did when I was working harder at it.

4. Enjoy my children more.
Now that my children are adults, I can relax. As much as I want their lives to be perfect, I realize that thinking I know better and telling them how to live their lives is arrogant and creates dependency. So I let them be who they are, and we get along very well.

5. Better at my profession.
Maybe it’s 40 years of clinical experience, but I have a clarity of vision that identifies essentials and helps people move to solutions more easily. My work is shamanic these days, more subtle as well as more effective.

6. Kicked the hurry habit.
This is such a relief! I exhausted myself rushing around doing what I imagined were important things. Now I realize very little in day-to-day life is worth hurrying for, and many things pass on their own. The rest can wait.

7. Really good friends.
Can you believe I have grammar school reunions? We hold each other in such sweet regard. I chat about everything with other friends—and I mean everything! The pretense, posturing, and competition are gone, so I have relationships that feed my deep-rooted needs for connection and belonging.

8. Sex positive.
Being sex positive is not directly related to aging, but it’s taken me this long to get here! It means I have a positive relationship with sex, think of it much like eating—enjoyable, necessary, what bodies do. I do not believe being a sexual woman in her 70s is shameful. In fact, I believe intimate sensuality and loving sex are essential for staying young and healthy as we age.

9. Sex is better.
Much, much better. The days of dissociating during sex are gone, because it’s easier for me to stay present–and easier to orgasm, which I finally learned how to do in my 60s. A late bloomer perhaps, but with less pressure to perform (and added playfulness), sex is more erotic, orgasmic, and satisfying for me than ever before.

10. Buffer is gone.
I used to be able to bounce right back, all that youthful energy like money in the bank would carry me. Not much wiggle room now, so I experience the consequences of who I am and what I do almost immediately. My life is winding down, which means no future bailout or even palliative care can save me now. Although sobering, I prefer to live with this level of honesty.

11. Meditation.
After all these years of trying to meditate, I believe I have finally settled down enough to begin to meditate. I will never be great at this, because I am an action-oriented person, but I have become more thoughtful and quieter, and this feels like a blessing.

12. I am fully alive.
What can I say? The older I get, the more alive I feel. I’ve shifted from thinking my way through life to moving toward what feels congruent, whole, and harmonious to me. Gone (almost) is fear-based worrying, evaluating, comparing, and judging. In (almost) is accepting life as it is and flowing with it. I have learned to love and appreciate myself. Gotta say life is much richer this way.

13. I can truly give.
I wasn’t philanthropic until my 60s–didn’t have the heartfelt calling to give back before then. Now I take action to stop violence against women and children in ways I never imagined possible when I was younger. I’m accomplishing the most meaningful work of my life right now—and I’m supposed to be staying home nursing my aging body and failing mind. I DON’T THINK SO!

It may be that Aging is the hero’s journey, an adventure of epic proportions that we navigate with our inner stars to guide us.

But don’t take my word for it! If you’re lucky, you’ll live long enough to get your chance at this once-in-a-lifetime adventure. This third chapter, as the Europeans call it, has the potential to be the richest chapter of our lives, the time we finally come home to ourselves and can connect most genuinely with others and the divine.

Loving Sex: Healthy Lifestyle Choice For Seniors

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Bring back that lovin’ feelin’…

It’s a shame that the physical intimacy and loving sex we need to stay healthy as we age is in such short supply when it’s so readily available to all of us.

I’m referring to touch and sexual intimacy, innate behaviors that are hard-wired into us humans. These are not just for the lucky few—the young, the healthy, and the beautiful. These are life-sustaining behaviors given to each one of us at birth. It is our birthright to touch and be touched, to love and be loved, and they are just as essential for our survival when we are older as when we were young.

Yet the reality is that older folks are touched less than at any other time in their lives. As time passes, people retire, partners die, and children move away. In our touch-phobic society where touch is limited only to close family members, elders become increasingly isolated and deprived of the physical intimacy they need.

Science agrees

It may be that seniors need more loving touch and sexual intimacy to stay healthy as they age. This is not just my opinion—this is science talking. Research is pointing to the fact that the more physically intimate and sexually active we are as we age, the healthier we will be. For men in particular, having orgasms 3+ times per week has been shown to cut the rate of heart attack and stroke by 50%.

Loving sex can provide the antidote for many health challenges endemic to old age. For example, it is now known that loving sex:

A prescription for loving sex

For these reasons, I believe we should add touch and loving sex to the list of healthy lifestyle choices for seniors. For example, wise seniors would include the following in their health regime: weight training, aerobic exercise, supplements, active social life, stress management, blueberries, salmon, avocados, loving sex, and healing touch.

I’m not joking. Give it a year or two and you’ll see scientific articles supporting this wisdom. I believe we will eventually come to understand that love and intimacy are the underlying determinants of physical and emotional health at all ages. . . and that they are major factors contributing to our good health and longevity as we age.

No age limit on loving sex

Nothing physical stands in the way of us enjoying touch and loving sex well into our 90s. There is no age limit on the need to be touched, sexual desire, or even the ability to orgasm. What robs us of these sensual pleasures is our own limiting beliefs. We seniors can improve our overall health as well as extend our life span by opting for sensual touch and sexual intimacy as proactive lifestyle choices, easily making them a priority when they are ‘only a heartbeat away.’

Thanks for reading!

The Courage to Be Who You Are

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When asked by hospice worker Bronnie Ware what they regretted not doing in their lives, most dying people wished they hadhad “the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

They also wished they had let themselves be happier, connected more with friends, worked less, and expressed their feelings more openly.

What will you regret at the end of your life?

Will you regret not expressing your feelings honestly with loved ones? Will you wish you’d enjoyed more love, sex, and intimacy?  If so, the new year is a good time to begin changing this. Let us help you!

It’s never too late to have a great life.

We at sexgetsbetterafter60.com hope you are enjoying the sexual intimacy and loving relationships that are essential for keeping us healthy and happy as we age. If you’re not already doing so, we encourage you to explore the wonderfully erotic world of mature sex in the coming year. That is our new year’s wish for you!

 

Senior Sex: A Natural Elixir for Aging

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Senior couple in restaurant

Paradigm shift needed…

It’s time to rethink the belief that old people don’t have sex — and if they do, it’s disgusting, embarrassing, or shameful.

First of all, this belief is from another century when women wore corsets, did not have the pill, and Viagra was wishful thinking. And secondly, it’s just not true.

Many seniors are having sex, and some are having the best sex of their lives, i.e., passionate, loving, erotic, orgasmic sex.

Benefits of Senior Sex 

As it turns out, Sex is a natural elixir for a variety of ills. For seniors, it can be the fountain of youth. Research shows that orgasms and the physical act of sex have health enhancing properties that pharmaceuticals only wish they could replicate. And the bi-products of physical intimacy are just what seniors need to live longer and stay healthy.

Advantages for women

Research at Wilkes University found that women who have sex more than twice a week have 30% higher levels of Immunoglobulin A. This large, Y-shaped antibody boosts the immune system to fight viruses like flu and pneumonia. Sexual activity also releases oxytocin, a hormone that lowers blood pressure, anxiety, and stress levels. It is has known to increase feelings of happiness, well-being, and emotional bonding.

Research at Rutgers University found that women who have sex regularly may be able to raise their pain threshold more than 100%. A recent study at the Sexuality Resource Center in Madison, WI reported that just one orgasm a week has the potential to reduce depression and risk of heart disease in women by a whopping 36%!

So an orgasm a day keeps illness at bay…

Good news for men

But the most provocative study to date on Senior Sex comes from Queens University in Belfast. Researchers tracked 918 men, aged 45-59, for 14 years to determine the relationship between frequency of sex and life span. They found that the more orgasms men in the study had, the longer they lived. Furthermore, men who had at least 3 orgasms a week cut their risk of heart attack and stroke in half!

These are astonishing findings when you consider no medication can approximate that success. Yet most Americans rely on pharmaceuticals to prevent stroke and heart attack. Additionally, the effectiveness of beta-blockers, the medication most frequently prescribed for cardiovascular disease, has been questioned for use with older patients.

“To Touch Can Be to Give Life”

Michelangelo intuitively understood the incredible power of touch. Touch is an instinctive language that is “ten times more powerful than verbal or emotional communication” (Saul Schanberg, 1995).

Scientists have verified that touch is crucial for maintaining good health. Lack of it can result in lowered immune response, delayed growth in children, allergies, asthma, dermatitis, and cardiovascular disease, even death in babies.

Loving touch has the powerful, positive effect of enabling people to feel safe and emotionally secure. It also has the amazing ability to balance the right and left sides of the brain. Therapeutic massage has the capacity to release blocked energy, heal chronic pain, and lower depression, anxiety, and cortisol levels in ways science can measure but not yet explain.

There is no reason to believe seniors ‘outgrow’ this basic human need. In fact, it may be that as we age, our capacity to give and receive loving touch increases.

It’s all about Connection

Even more so than our simian cousins, human beings are social animals, meaning our bodies crave connection and touch with other bodies. In fact, recent research determined that older folks who feel lonely have a significantly higher risk of death than those who feel connected. Women who identify themselves as lonely have a 64% greater chance of going into a nursing home and developing dementia.

Thus, it behooves each of us to combat the tendency to isolate ourselves as we age. Our health improves when we reach out to others, get involved and create relationships that sustain us.

Paradigm shift: Encourage Senior Sex  

Bottom line: Hard data indicates that sex in all forms plays a large part in keeping us healthy, so we seniors should enjoy more of it. The good news is there is nothing about Aging that inevitably diminishes our desire to be touched, our sex drive, or how often we can have an orgasm.

According to many, the skin is the largest, most sensitive sex organ in the body. Pleasure is always right at your fingertips– free, without side effects, utterly delightful. So I encourage you to consider the health giving benefits of Senior Sex. And while you’re at it, imagine the aliveness you will feel with more loving touch and sexual intimacy in your life.